Social anxiety and regrets.

I don't want a job. Why?


SOCIAL ANXIETY is anxiety (emotional discomfort, fear, apprehension, or worry) about social situations, interactions with others, and being evaluated or scrutinized by other people. The difference between social anxiety and normal apprehension of social situations is that social anxiety involves an intense feeling of fear in social situations and especially situations that are unfamiliar or in which you will be watched or evaluated by others. The feeling of fear is so great that in these types of situations one may be so worried that they feel anxious just thinking about them and will go to great lengths to avoid them.

I'm scared to get a job. I'm admitting it. I'm terrified. I have no doubt in my mind that I have social anxiety. I don't talk to people. I don't like being around people. I don't like people looking at me. I don't like having to talk to other people. SO, being in an environment for 6 or 7 hours a day around PEOPLE EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY scares me.

I really don't even like thinking about tomorrow. I have to dress fancy (I usually wear pj's and a t shirt) and go fake a smile to every salon I can. I want to work retail maybe. So I never have to worry about seeing people again. Gosh. That's something I would do. I would apply for a job like that.

Just...not doing hair all day where I have to talk to people.
I SUCK AT DOING HAIR. God only knows how I graduated Beauty School. Then again, it's my fault I chose this field. And I really wish I didn't.

Thus begins the beginning of something terrible.